Let me be really honest with you. I see A LOT of lame copy. And not just from newbies, from the supposed experts.
One of the reasons it is so lame is that there is no mental picture. My senses have not been engaged. None of them.
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First things first, these phrases need to be talking about a strong offer – if it is shitty, not going to work.
Here are six of these glorious phrases, compared to some of the lame oh copy we see. Yes yes I know, I am very generous. You may send gifts.
Can you hear the sound of…
Can you hear the rumble of their empty stomachs? Vs Can you imagine them being hungry?
So close you can feel…
You can feel your next loan payment breathing down your neck, all hot and prickly Vs Your next loan payment is looming ahead
Nothing beats the taste of…
Nothing beats the sweet, tangy taste of success Vs Nothings beats the taste of success
Imagine laying eyes on…
Imagine laying eyes on your own house for the first time, taking in all the details: The staircase, the patio, the wall to ceiling windows Vs Imagine walking into your new home for the first time
Can you smell the..
Can you smell the crisp new smell of $100 bills you earnt when you slept? Vs Imagine making $10,000 while you sleep (which btw, please stop using because it’s so done)
As you whoosh by..
People will stand open mouthed as you get your well earned promotion Vs They will stand open mouthed as you woosh past all objections to a well earned promotion.